Infertility, Phase 2

by Lindsey on February 23, 2014

in Infertility, J&L Get Through Tough Stuff, J&L Start a Family

Last time I blogged about our fertility problems I had just started my first round of Provera and Clomid, and now I’m back to let you know how things have progressed. (Spoiler alert: they haven’t.)

The Provera did what it was supposed to do, so that was the first step in the right direction. After that, I did my first round of Clomid, and when I got my bloodwork done, it showed that the Clomid worked too! We had a mini dance party, and held our breaths.

The big day came and things hadn’t started as they should, so I took a pregnancy test. Unsurprisingly, it was negative. A few days later, I started my second round of Clomid and went through what I can honestly say was one of the worst weekends of my life. Even as someone who grew up dealing with pretty severe menstrual cramps on the regular, I was not at all prepared for the pain of that weekend. It was awful for all parties involved. My husband truly is a saint.

This month when I got my bloodwork done, it came back negative, meaning the Clomid didn’t work. We think everything was lagging about a week behind, so we thought it may have just been a timing issue, and I had the option of getting bloodwork done again, but decided to just wait and see what happened.

Well, here we are a few days past the expected day, with no sign of a cycle and yet another negative pregnancy test. Obviously things aren’t working as they should, so our next step is another round of Provera, and a higher dosage of Clomid. If that doesn’t work, than we’re going to get some other tests done to see what’s going on, and have Justin checked out as well.

In the meantime, we’ve been talking to our chiropractor, and he suggested that I change up my diet, and work on my stress levels. At this point I’m willing to try anything, so I started going to yoga again, and we’re both making some major changes to our eating habits starting this week. Our goal is to eliminate sugar and eat mostly organic. It is not going to be easy, but I’m really hoping it’ll be worth it. And at least we’re pretty certain we’ll both feel better in general, when we aren’t drinking pop and eating crap all the time.

Tonight we went on our first grocery shopping trip to Whole Foods and to say it was overwhelming would be the understatement of the century. We are brand new to this, obviously, and had a hard time figuring out what we can actually eat. It also didn’t help that the one closest to us is tiny, and overflowing with massive amounts of people. I’m hoping we’ll be more prepared next time, but we might have to choose a different time of day/day of the week to go, if we can find when it’s less crazy!

So that’s where we’re at.

I’ve had people react to my telling all of this two ways. A few people think I’m crazy for putting it all out on the table, but most people have told me they think it’s awesome that I’m able to be so open about it. I’ve had a bunch of people contact me behind the scenes with stories. Some to say “We’re going through it too, and we get it”, others saying “We went through the same thing, and now we’re pregnant!”, and yet others saying “We tried for a long time, and now we’re going through the adoption process”. Hearing these stories honestly helps so much. It gives us so much hope and comfort to know that we’re not alone in this, we’re not “broken” because of this, and that we have a long way to go, filled with options. So, if you’re someone who can’t fathom how I can be so public about something so personal, I hope you can understand that this is just what works for me. By letting people in, I’m giving them a chance to relate to me, and to support me, and it really is making all the difference.

xoxo

**Fun fact, I’ll be going to a baby shower next weekend, for a friend who has been trying for 7 years. SEVEN! If that doesn’t give us hope that it will eventually happen, I don’t know what will!

Crystal February 23, 2014 at 10:59 pm

You will get through this. You are a strong women and you have many people around you who love you. I can’t say I know how this feels but when you do take a pregnancy test and it’s negative, you defiantly feel down about everything. I think it is wonderful how you are sharing your story with everyone. This will give someone hope and let them know they are not the only ones going through this. If you need anything you can always call me to talk. I’m a good listener.

Lisa of Lisa's Yarns February 24, 2014 at 6:49 am

I totally understand why you have chosen to be more public about this. I think it will help you connect with more people who have had similar experience and maybe inspire others struggling with the same thing to be a bit more open about it. I hope your story has a happy ending but it sounds like you’ve got hope, which is so important.

5 years ago I found out that I had a gluten intolerance so had to totally change the way I ate. It was super overwhelming at first, but it does get better. In general, I do about 80% of my shopping on the exterior of the grocery store, and limit what I buy in the middle since that stuff tends to be more processed. Hopefully your new approach to eating gets easier and less overwhelming with time!!

katelin February 24, 2014 at 6:51 pm

Oh friend I have been there and it is hard. I swear I took so many pregnancy tests in the beginning and every time I took Clomid I was just hoping it would work. Bodies are so weird it’s annoying. Also, the side effects? Sweet mercy, pretty sure I’ve never had migraines like I did on Clomid and Progesterone.

And good luck with the diet change, I changed to gluten free in August and have gradually become all around healthier with my eating. It definitely wasn’t easy (or cheap) but I keep telling myself it’s going to be worth it in the long run for sure, and I believe it.

Sending all sorts of happy awesome fertile vibes your way friend and if you ever want to chat I’m only an email away :)

Alison March 19, 2014 at 2:08 pm

See, I was going to tell you my mom’s story, but didn’t want you to take it the wrong way and get discouraged. My mom and dad “pulled the goalie” when they got married. My mom was 21. They weren’t really trying, but they weren’t _not_ trying. My beautiful face was born 7 years later. I’m a firm believer in things happening when they’re supposed to happen. I’m also not patient AT ALL so I completely understand your frustration.

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