Another Fertility Roadblock

by Lindsey on April 21, 2014

in Infertility, J&L Get Through Tough Stuff, J&L Start a Family

All along we knew there was something wrong with me. You can’t get pregnant if you don’t ovulate, and well, I don’t. Or at least I haven’t. And so we started down the path of treating it as if I have PCOS (though I have only one mild symptom), taking medicine to force menstrual cycles followed by forced ovulation. While doing this, we started doing some natural things too, like removing sugar and processed foods from our diet, eating only organic meat and produce, and practicing stress relief like acupuncture and allowing ourselves to just simply relax.

Three months in a row, the medicine made me feel like crap, but didn’t do what it was supposed to do.

The medical doctors suggest a new medicine that has less side-effects and supposed better results, specifically in women with PCOS. The acupuncturist recommends taking a few months off the meds to let my body rest and attempt to bring it to a normal state naturally. We spent an entire weekend weighing the pros and cons of either stopping all treatment or continuing to pump my body full of a chemical that isn’t working.We seriously considered everything, and we’re skeptical of both approaches, though we eventually decided to try the new med and see what happens. I’ll be starting that in a couple weeks.

In the meantime, this weekend was spent doing some further testing. They want to make sure that once I do start ovulating, we won’t have any other issues, so Justin had a seman analysis and I had a sonogram. (I’ll also be testing the flow of my tubes in the next week or two.) The sono came back great, which was a welcome surprise. Justin’s test, however, showed signs of another problem we’ll have to overcome, Abnormal Morphology. Basically, unless it corrects itself, which is possible, we will most likely need to use IUI or IVF to get pregnant. And of course, this is all if/when I start ovulating.

Apparently, nothing about this is going to be easy for us. It’s going to be really. freaking. hard. But, we are survivors, and we are willing to do whatever it takes to conceive this baby. And if we aren’t able to, then we’ll be willing to do whatever it takes to adopt. And if we aren’t able to, then we’ll be willing to do whatever it takes to live a happy, childless life. (While spoiling our nieces and nephews like crazy, of course.)

We started this day with one major roadblock, and we’re ending it with two. Our answer is that we’ll figure it out. It’s what we’ve always done. Tomorrow we’ll put on our game faces and get through the day because that’s what we do.

But tonight, we’ll be real. Tonight, we’ll be sad and discouraged and frustrated. Tonight, we’ll want to scream and cry and throw things. Tonight, we’ll be pissed. Because it’s not freaking fair. And it hurts.

Lisa of Lisa's Yarns April 22, 2014 at 7:02 am

I am so sorry to hear that you hit yet another road block. Life is just so incredibly unfair at times. I am glad that you and Justin have such a strong relationship as you’ll definitely need to lean on each other (and your loved ones) as you face these challenges. I hope and pray that you find a way to have a child…

Nora April 22, 2014 at 10:14 am

I know there are no true words that can help you during this difficult & trying time but if you need to kick, scream, cry or vent, email me any time. I have several friends (URL and IRL friends) going through similar situations and it just breaks my heart. You’re right, it ISN’T Fair and I hate it for all of you. Big hugs and always here. xo

katelin April 22, 2014 at 6:56 pm

I sent you an email already but just wanted to chime in here to say, I hate this. I hate eerily familiar this all sounds and I hate that more people I know have to go through this.

I’m thinking of you friend and am here for you if you need to vent or just chat xo

Amy Whelan April 29, 2014 at 12:29 pm

My sister and her husband went through 7 years of invitro fertilization and hormone therapy. They, too, had the hopes shot out of the water more times than I care to remember. It was not an easy time of their lives. Now they have twins: two beautiful boys who I don’t see nearly enough, but love with all my heart.

Honey, your time will come too. Whatever you have to go through to get there, you cannot rush. I know that is cold comfort, but when you look back, you’ll see the reasons were actually right where you belonged at that moment(s) in time.

There is a lot of support out there. Grab onto all you can and get through this with your best foot forward. Virtual hugs to you and Justin, Girl.

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