An update on our infertility

by Lindsey on November 18, 2014

in Infertility, J&L Get Through Tough Stuff, J&L Start a Family

It’s been a while since I posted about our infertility journey, and figured it was time to give you an update. I read through my old posts, and realized that a lot of things changed over the last six months, and we didn’t do all the things we said we were going to do back then.

For starters:

This..

The medical doctors suggest a new medicine that has less side-effects and supposed better results, specifically in women with PCOS. The acupuncturist recommends taking a few months off the meds to let my body rest and attempt to bring it to a normal state naturally. We spent an entire weekend weighing the pros and cons of either stopping all treatment or continuing to pump my body full of a chemical that isn’t working.We seriously considered everything, and we’re skeptical of both approaches, though we eventually decided to try the new med and see what happens. I’ll be starting that in a couple weeks.

…never happened. I chickened out and we decided to get off all the meds for a while. I continued with acupuncture (which I’m still doing), but still haven’t tried any other meds.

Secondly:

This…

In the meantime, this weekend was spent doing some further testing. They want to make sure that once I do start ovulating, we won’t have any other issues, so Justin had a seman analysis and I had a sonogram. (I’ll also be testing the flow of my tubes in the next week or two.) The sono came back great, which was a welcome surprise. Justin’s test, however, showed signs of another problem we’ll have to overcome, Abnormal Morphology. Basically, unless it corrects itself, which is possible, we will most likely need to use IUI or IVF to get pregnant. And of course, this is all if/when I start ovulating.

…is irrelevant. Jut got retested a month later and everything was perfect. Apparently simple things like hot showers, heated seats, hot tubs, etc. can effect it. Also, I never had the flow test, because, again, I chickened out.

So basically we’ve been doing acupuncture, trying to relieve stress, sticking to a good diet (for the most part), and just kind of letting things happen naturally since February. That is until this past week at acupuncture, when she told me that she thinks it’s time for me to find a fertility specialist. This sort of broke my heart, because I was really hoping we’d be able to do this on our own, but at the same time we’re both ready to try something different. I’ve been tracking my temperatures daily for months, but haven’t seen the patterns we’re looking for, which means that nothing is actually changing in my body. I am going to continue with acupuncture though, because I do think it makes a huge difference for me mentally.

A few different people recommended the same clinic to us, which happens to be 5 minutes from our house, and I scheduled an appt with the doctor of our choice. They can’t get me in until the first week of January, which is okay because it gives us a chance to get through the holidays before turning all of our focus toward this.

So that’s where we’re at. We’re going on almost 2 years of this, and I’ve gone through just about every emotion a person can experience. I’ve cried more than ever in my life, I’ve been really, really angry, (like, scary angry), and I’ve been jealous more than I care to admit. Infertility brings out the absolute worst in me, but at the same time I feel like it’s changed me for the better. I don’t stress over little things anymore because obviously we have this bigger thing to worry about, and I try not to get worked up about what other people are saying or doing, because frankly, I just don’t have the emotional bandwidth to spare. (I should preface that with the fact that I’m thisclose to deactivating my Facebook account, though.) For the most part, I’m doing okay, though. I certainly have bad days, but I try to stay positive. It does help that Justin has continued to be my savior. Some days, I don’t know how he does it, but he keeps me standing, and I couldn’t imagine going through this with anyone else <3

 

I’m sure I’ll have updates more often once we start working with a specialist, so if you’d like to continue following our journey, please add us to your reader of choice (I personally use Feedly), or Like our page on Facebook!

San November 18, 2014 at 7:34 pm

I am so sorry you’re going through this. I know way too many people who have to deal with this. :(

Lindsey December 8, 2014 at 9:45 am

Thanks San, I know too many also, and it’s awful!

katelin November 18, 2014 at 8:23 pm

Friend, I’m so glad you’re sharing your journey even though it hasn’t been easy. I honestly don’t know how I would have made it without talking about it. I’m sorry this journey is continuing to be difficult and frustrating and I truly hope you guys take some time for yourselves during the holidays. I also think that as scary as it sounds, a fertility specialist may give you more comfort than you think. I know that once we started seeing ours and getting some answers and feedback, it made us feel better and gave us a little more hope. And like you I stayed with a holistic specialist as well because I figured why not give more to my body.

Sorry this is so rambly but I just want you to know how much I’m thinking of you. And feel free to let those emotions run wild and don’t hide from the bad days, just think of the good ones instead.

Sending so much love and always here if you want to talk or have any questions or anything xoxo

Lindsey December 8, 2014 at 9:45 am

Thanks so much Katelin. You guys give me hope, and the determination to keep trying!

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