Decisions.

by Lindsey on November 29, 2014

in Infertility, J&L Get Through Tough Stuff, J&L Start a Family

It all started three weeks ago, when I started feeling a lot of unfamiliar pain. This is pain like nothing I’ve ever felt before; a constant uncomfortable-ness, relieved by none of my normal remedies. For days on end, I’ve laid on the couch unable to function, and cried myself through sleepless nights. When I talked to my acupuncturist about it, she suggested that I have an ultrasound, and my OB/GYN agreed.

For a moment we actually thought maybe I was having a very early miscarriage, and while that was devastating to think about, in a sick, twisted way we actually took it as a positive thing because it would at least mean we conceived. If those aren’t the two most conflicting feelings on Earth, I don’t know what are.

So yesterday I went in for my ultrasound, and what they found was not a miscarriage, but instead a massive cyst on one of my ovaries.

We don’t know a whole lot about any of this yet, but we do know that ovarian cysts are a normal thing and usually of no concern, except that mine is significantly bigger than average, and hemorrhagic.

Now we have to decide between waiting a few weeks to see what it does on it’s own and potentially needing surgery, or skipping the wait and doing the surgery now. It could be nothing, or it could be endometriosis, which they could verify during the surgery.

There are pros and cons to both options. On one hand it’s probably best to avoid surgery if possible, and if the cyst shrinks over the next few weeks, I might not need it at all. But waiting means another 3-4 weeks of this constant pain I’ve been dealing with. Plus, there is a chance the cyst could twist or rupture causing me even more pain, and if we had the surgery now, they could clear out anything else that may be preventing pregnancy at the same time.

We really don’t know what to do, so for now we’re taking a few days to weigh our options and determine what’s best for us. I’ve been doing my best to stay positive and remain hopeful through every step of this journey, but I have to admit, this weekend has me feeling rather defeated.

Tracy November 29, 2014 at 8:39 pm

Aw, Lindsey, I am SO sorry for everything you’re going through. This sounds like a difficult decision and I hope you and J are able to work through it and determine what will be best for you and your body. I’ll be thinking of you and remembering you in my prayers.

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