Five Things (+1)

by Lindsey on January 21, 2015

in Just Us

First, stop everything you’re doing and go read this post over on Coffee and Crumbs. This is a 100% accurate description of what it feels like to deal with infertility. Seriously, I can’t get over how perfectly stated it is. I can’t decide which part is my favorite, it’s a toss-up between these two:

“It’s a weird kind of wound, one that is constantly being picked open. Like a cut on the bottom of your foot – how do you avoid thinking about it when every time you take a step, there it is? You can’t stop walking, but the pain is almost unbearable. So you limp and wince and make an attempt to grin and bear it and the people around kind of forget about it, even if they love you and mean well. It’s just not on their mind the way that it’s on yours because why should it be? You can’t blame them.”

“It’s strange grief, for a death that hasn’t happened yet. As the months tick by, the dream of motherhood lies on its deathbed and time marches with alarming speed toward a time when all of your chances are used up. But at some point, you start to feel awkward about it, like it should be old news and like it shouldn’t bother you anymore. You hate being the infertile one, the one people feel they have to tiptoe around, the one who cries in the bathroom at baby showers after one too many insensitive comments. So there’s embarrassment and maybe guilt too. It’s strange grief.”

Go ahead, I’ll wait.

Okay, now that you’ve returned, onto some other random things.

1. We sent Christmas cards again this year, but for no excuse other than I’m lazy, they ended up being New Year’s cards, and still didn’t get delivered until January 6th. Oops! Regardless, I loved them!

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2. We had our infertility appt, and I’m working on a longer post about our experience (which was WONDERFUL!), but for now I’ll just say they’re having us try Femera. This is the same drug my SIL/OB recommended a year ago, but back then we were really nervous about taking any more medicine after Clomid made me feel so awful. This time around we’re ready to try whatever they think will work, so fingers crossed it does!

3. Along the same lines, I’ve been stalking the Resolve website for a while now, and I think I’m ready to finally find/join a local support group! I know Becky is really involved in the organization, and has some great things to say, and I think it would be helpful to find some women to talk to. I also hope to find some others who have tried Femera and can speak to their experience. I trust the doctors, but there’s nothing better than speaking directly to someone’s who’s tried it!

4. I got accepted into a Project Management Certification program through work. The first round of it is basically just a lot of training and mentor hours, but if I continue through the second and third rounds, I should be prepped and ready to take the PMP test. I’m a terrible test taker, so I’ll probably put that off for as long as humanly possible.

5. I went shopping this weekend with my girlfriends, and it was the most successful trip I’ve had in a really long time! My best purchase was a $130 coat for $23! It’s this one in blue, from New York & Co. The other thing I am super excited about is finding this tinted moisturizer that I LOVE from Bare Minerals. Sephora and Ulta stopped carrying it, and I couldn’t find it on the BM website, so I figured they stopped making it. I went into a BM boutique for the first time, to see what they recommend as a replacement, and as soon as I walked in I saw it on a shelf!

So that’s what I’ve been up to since the New Year. I’ve also been reading like a crazy person, so I’ll be back with a rundown of that list soon! And for real, if you haven’t yet, go read this!

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2015 Resolutions…or something like that

by Lindsey on January 3, 2015

in Just Us

Last year I posted our wishes for 2014, but I’m not going to do a full recap because, to be honest, we only crossed three things off the list. (Have an unforgettable 30th birthday party, Complete the 52-week savings challenge, and for Jut to lose 15 pounds.)

For 2015, while we do have a few specific goals we’re working toward together, and Justin has a list of things he wants for himself, I’m doing things a bit differently for me.

I already wrote about how my focus for this year is to just breathe, and I’ve been putting a lot of thought into how I can help myself do that. Unlike previous years, I’m not really committing to any specific goals, but rather, I’m committing to doing more of the things that I think will help me find, and stay in, the mental place I want to be this year. I won’t be placing timeframes or schedules around any of these ideas, so I won’t consider it a failure if I decide something isn’t benefitting me the way I need it to. I just need to find what works for me, but be able to let go of anything that doesn’t, without self-judgement.

So without further ado, here are our “resolutions” for 2015:

Jut

  • Lose 15 pounds
  • Run 300 miles
  • Complete CCNA Certification

Together

  • Pay off at least $12,000 in debt and add no new debt
  • Finish the attic/walk-in closet

Linds

  • Meditation
  • Yoga
  • Acupuncture
  • Read more
  • Write more / Journal
  • Unplug
  • Practice Self-Love (No more saying “I’m broken”)

What resolutions or goals are on your list this year? Any other ideas to keep me breathing?

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On Our Eleventh and Twelfth Dates of Christmas

December 30, 2014

On Our Eleventh Date of Christmas …we doubled with one of my dearest friends! Normally we try to keep Christmas Dates to just the two of us, but at some point in late December, we realized we weren’t going to get all 12 of our dates in, due to my surgery and not wanting to […]

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On Our Ninth and Tenth Dates of Christmas

December 30, 2014

On Our Ninth Date of Christmas …we went to ‘Midnight’ Mass on Christmas Eve! I say ‘Midnight’ because it really started at 10PM. I couldn’t find a single church that did a service at 12! When I was little, my mom took us to our church’s midnight service every single year. When I started dating […]

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On Our Sixth, Seventh, and Eighth Dates of Christmas

December 29, 2014

On our sixth date of Christmas …we opened Dunmyre Salon! I love that one of our ways to save money is to have Justin dye my hair, and me to cut his. No sense in spending $80+ when I can get a box for less than $5!   On our Seventh Date of Christmas… we went […]

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On Our Fifth Date of Christmas…

December 29, 2014

…we went to Phipps Conservatory! This was our second time seeing their Winter Light Garden and Flower Show, and it was just as good as last year! I’ll let the photos do the talking from here: I realize Christmas is over, but I do want to finish telling you about our 12 Dates, since who […]

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Breathe

December 23, 2014

I’ve seen it all over the Internet, people choosing one word to encompass all of their hopes and dreams for the New Year. I even tried it once, a few years back, but never thought about it again after the initial word choice. This time will be different though. This year, I’m choosing a word to […]

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On Our Fourth Date of Christmas…

December 22, 2014

…I was laid out on the couch recovering from surgery, so we had ourselves a nice little State-Night! We knew we wouldn’t have a lot of time to get out of the house this month, so we planned to have some of our date nights at home. (Now that we’re three days away from Christmas […]

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On Our Third Date of Christmas…

December 21, 2014

…we had our big annual date night in the city! This is one of my very favorite holiday tradition of ours, and I’m so glad we are able to keep it going year after year! (It also helped that this was the night before my surgery, which kept my mind off everything we would be […]

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Decision was made, outcome was positive

December 11, 2014

I meant to post a fertility update prior to yesterday, but time flies when you’re freaking out, and I never got around to it. So here’s the latest scoop. Two days after I posted about having to make the big decision, my doctor (SIL) called me and said we didn’t really have a choice. After she […]

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