I realize it’s a little late to be posting a recap for the month of February, but, well, the first two weeks of March were hard, so this is what you get.

Music:

I put a lot of thought into what song I wanted to pick for this month. I’m choosing Blake Shelton – God Gave Me You but not for the reason I originally planned. See, for a long time, I have loved this song for what it means to me and Justin. Obviously we’ve gone through a lot in the time we’ve been together, and I don’t think either of us would have survived without the other. However, I’ve learned that this feeling extends to so many others in my life outside of Justin. For the last 2 years, we have had the support of all of you, and it has carried us. In February, we had a lot of wins, and then one giant loss, and you were there through all of it. You cheered us on during our first time ever ovulating (even though that seems really weird typing it now), and you prayed for us through our early miscarriage.  I truly believe God put all of you in our lives to help us get through this, and I’m so, so thankful that He did.

YouTube won’t let me embed the official video, so go watch it here.

Movies:

By far, the best movie we watched in February was Big Hero 6! It made me cry a little, but I can’t think of a Disney movie that doesn’t! It was so good. Seriously. Go watch it.

Novels:

I didn’t read nearly as much this month as last, but I’m hoping to step my game up in March (hint: I haven’t yet.) Most of what I did read was fantastic, though, so, quality over quantity!

  • Ms. Marvel, Vol. 1: New Normal – 5 Stars
  • Everything I Never Told You – 5 Stars
  • The Mysteries of Pittsburgh – 3 Stars
  • I Called Him Necktie – 5 Stars

Netflix:

We’ve been hearing great things about Firefly for a long time, so we were anxious to get it started. It was a little weird at first, being kind of Sci-Fi meets Old Western, but we definitely enjoyed it. We also watched Serenity, the movie that stemmed from it, which was also really good.

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If you follow me on Facebook or Twitter, you probably already know what happened, but here is the full rundown.

Jut and I spent last weekend in Cleveland, and we knew going into it that it could potentially be the weekend we would find out we’re pregnant. Sure enough, I woke up Saturday morning and took two positive pregnancy tests. We were completely ecstatic, and all I could do all day was say “Hey Jut, I’m pregnant.” and he would respond “Hey Linds, I know!”. We were literally in utter euphoria.

Sunday I went to my fertility office for bloodwork to confirm. Got a call a couple hours later with the “Congratulations! You’re pregnant! Your HCG is 41.7, and we’ll test again in two days.” I literally responded “YAY!!!”

I spent the rest of Sunday and Monday telling my close friends and family. I knew I was going to be open about it early, because I didn’t want to be public about the journey, but then hide the actual event. I planned to announce the good news to the Internet on Tuesday, after we had a chance to tell Justin’s siblings in person.

Those two days gave me all. the. feelings. I was so nervous, yet so excited, yet so scared and ready at the same time. I felt like I was making it up every time I said it out loud, but I couldn’t wait to scream it at the top of my lungs. I couldn’t believe it happened on our first round of Letrozole, and I couldn’t believe it finally happened after 23 months of trying.

Then Tuesday morning I had my HCG Beta checked again, and it dropped to 19.2.

My coordinator at RHS called and said “I wish I had better news. You are no longer pregnant.”

They’re calling it a biochemical pregnancy, which basically means we fertilized an egg, it started to implant, and then it just stopped. There’s no reason, there’s nothing we could have done to change it. It just stopped. Apparently it’s really common, but most women don’t even realize it, because if you’re not going through fertility treatments, you’re probably not paying as close attention. My acupuncturist actually thinks this isn’t the first time it happened, but we didn’t notice the first time because my cycles were so messed up.

My next cycle has started, so I went back to RHS this morning to have my HCG checked again. They want me to start right back up on the Letrozole, but need to make sure it’s back down to normal first. It’s currently 3.3, so I’m waiting for the official go-ahead before starting the meds again on Sunday. This week has been harder than we could have ever imagined, but we know it’s a step in the right direction that we were even able to conceive, so we both agreed we’re ready to move on and try again.

So, that’s that. We were pregnant, and now we’re not. It sucks, but we’re okay.

And if nothing else, this week was just another reminder that we have the most absolute, very best, super amazing, supportive, and loving group of friends and family we could have ever asked for. We would NOT have gotten through this without all of you, and we could never thank you enough for keeping us in your thoughts and prayers. <3

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January Media Recap

February 2, 2015

For a long time, I’ve considered posting something like Lisa’s monthly “Music, Books, Miles, and Looks“. The reason I haven’t, is because I don’t run anymore, and I don’t ever take photos of what I’m wearing. Since I don’t foresee either of those things changing anytime soon, I’ve decided to do something a little different. […]

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Five Things (+1)

January 21, 2015

First, stop everything you’re doing and go read this post over on Coffee and Crumbs. This is a 100% accurate description of what it feels like to deal with infertility. Seriously, I can’t get over how perfectly stated it is. I can’t decide which part is my favorite, it’s a toss-up between these two: “It’s […]

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2015 Resolutions…or something like that

January 3, 2015

Last year I posted our wishes for 2014, but I’m not going to do a full recap because, to be honest, we only crossed three things off the list. (Have an unforgettable 30th birthday party, Complete the 52-week savings challenge, and for Jut to lose 15 pounds.) For 2015, while we do have a few specific goals we’re working […]

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On Our Eleventh and Twelfth Dates of Christmas

December 30, 2014

On Our Eleventh Date of Christmas …we doubled with one of my dearest friends! Normally we try to keep Christmas Dates to just the two of us, but at some point in late December, we realized we weren’t going to get all 12 of our dates in, due to my surgery and not wanting to […]

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On Our Ninth and Tenth Dates of Christmas

December 30, 2014

On Our Ninth Date of Christmas …we went to ‘Midnight’ Mass on Christmas Eve! I say ‘Midnight’ because it really started at 10PM. I couldn’t find a single church that did a service at 12! When I was little, my mom took us to our church’s midnight service every single year. When I started dating […]

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On Our Sixth, Seventh, and Eighth Dates of Christmas

December 29, 2014

On our sixth date of Christmas …we opened Dunmyre Salon! I love that one of our ways to save money is to have Justin dye my hair, and me to cut his. No sense in spending $80+ when I can get a box for less than $5!   On our Seventh Date of Christmas… we went […]

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On Our Fifth Date of Christmas…

December 29, 2014

…we went to Phipps Conservatory! This was our second time seeing their Winter Light Garden and Flower Show, and it was just as good as last year! I’ll let the photos do the talking from here: I realize Christmas is over, but I do want to finish telling you about our 12 Dates, since who […]

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Breathe

December 23, 2014

I’ve seen it all over the Internet, people choosing one word to encompass all of their hopes and dreams for the New Year. I even tried it once, a few years back, but never thought about it again after the initial word choice. This time will be different though. This year, I’m choosing a word to […]

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