All along we knew there was something wrong with me. You can’t get pregnant if you don’t ovulate, and well, I don’t. Or at least I haven’t. And so we started down the path of treating it as if I have PCOS (though I have only one mild symptom), taking medicine to force menstrual cycles followed by forced ovulation. While doing this, we started doing some natural things too, like removing sugar and processed foods from our diet, eating only organic meat and produce, and practicing stress relief like acupuncture and allowing ourselves to just simply relax.

Three months in a row, the medicine made me feel like crap, but didn’t do what it was supposed to do.

The medical doctors suggest a new medicine that has less side-effects and supposed better results, specifically in women with PCOS. The acupuncturist recommends taking a few months off the meds to let my body rest and attempt to bring it to a normal state naturally. We spent an entire weekend weighing the pros and cons of either stopping all treatment or continuing to pump my body full of a chemical that isn’t working.We seriously considered everything, and we’re skeptical of both approaches, though we eventually decided to try the new med and see what happens. I’ll be starting that in a couple weeks.

In the meantime, this weekend was spent doing some further testing. They want to make sure that once I do start ovulating, we won’t have any other issues, so Justin had a seman analysis and I had a sonogram. (I’ll also be testing the flow of my tubes in the next week or two.) The sono came back great, which was a welcome surprise. Justin’s test, however, showed signs of another problem we’ll have to overcome, Abnormal Morphology. Basically, unless it corrects itself, which is possible, we will most likely need to use IUI or IVF to get pregnant. And of course, this is all if/when I start ovulating.

Apparently, nothing about this is going to be easy for us. It’s going to be really. freaking. hard. But, we are survivors, and we are willing to do whatever it takes to conceive this baby. And if we aren’t able to, then we’ll be willing to do whatever it takes to adopt. And if we aren’t able to, then we’ll be willing to do whatever it takes to live a happy, childless life. (While spoiling our nieces and nephews like crazy, of course.)

We started this day with one major roadblock, and we’re ending it with two. Our answer is that we’ll figure it out. It’s what we’ve always done. Tomorrow we’ll put on our game faces and get through the day because that’s what we do.

But tonight, we’ll be real. Tonight, we’ll be sad and discouraged and frustrated. Tonight, we’ll want to scream and cry and throw things. Tonight, we’ll be pissed. Because it’s not freaking fair. And it hurts.

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Five Things on a Friday

by Lindsey on April 4, 2014

in J&L Do Random Stuff

Alternate Title: 5 things I’ll be posting more about in the future, but here’s a quick rundown of what’s going on in our lives.

1. We are officially in the planning stages of throwing me the most spectacular Harry Potter 30th Birthday Party in the history of 30th Birthday Parties. It’s going to be incredible, and I can’t wait to tell you all about it. Too bad it’s not until the end of May!!

2. I recently had a super eye-opening, coffee-talk session with SecretAgentL about her love of being Catholic, and have been doing a lot of research and soul-searching ever since. I’m seriously considering converting, so for Lent this year, we decided to Church Hop. Each week we’ve found a local Catholic Mass to attend, and I can honestly say I’m loving it. I have a lot more to learn, and a lot more questions, but it’s definitely been an interesting and surprisingly fun adventure so far.

3. Last weekend I took a social media break because we had some big decisions to make and I needed time to focus on my thoughts.  One of those decisions was regarding our fertility treatments. The gist of it is Clomid isn’t working and we spent a few days researching other options. We have a new plan, and we’re anxious to see how things progress in the coming weeks. In the meantime, I have fallen in love with acupuncture, and our no sugar/no processed food life is going great! We have both lost some weight, and are feeling significantly better in general.

4. Another one of those big decisions was around my job. I can’t say much about it yet, but basically I told my boss I want to consider a new direction for my career, and fortunately for me, she’s amazing and very open to the idea. She posed a few options for me, and now we have a lot to think about because the decision could make a pretty large impact on our future.

5. I keep seeing photos on Instagram and statuses on Facebook with the #100happydays hashtag. It makes me want to try it, but I’m afraid to since I epically failed at Project365 on four separate occasions. I think it would be really good for me to remember something happy in everyday though, since I’ve been so crazy stressed lately. It’s also been suggested that I start meditating regularly, and keeping a daily gratitude journal. Obviously I gotta come up with something, and maybe this could be a good start.

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Infertility, Phase 2

February 23, 2014

Last time I blogged about our fertility problems I had just started my first round of Provera and Clomid, and now I’m back to let you know how things have progressed. (Spoiler alert: they haven’t.) The Provera did what it was supposed to do, so that was the first step in the right direction. After […]

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2013 House Project Recaps: Chair Rail and Crown Molding

February 11, 2014

I meant to take the month of January to catch you up on all the house projects we completed in 2013. Obviously I didn’t get it done last month, but hopefully I can get them all posted in the next couple weeks! The next big project I’ll tell you about is in our dining room! […]

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2013 House Project Recaps: The Kitchen

January 6, 2014

I meant to take the month of January to catch you up on all the house projects we completed in 2013. Obviously I didn’t get it done last month, but hopefully I can get them all posted in the next couple weeks! The next project I’ll tell you about is the kitchen! This is one […]

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2013 House Project Recaps: The Deck

January 2, 2014

I’m taking the month of January to catch you up on all the house projects we completed in 2013! Hopefully I can get them all in this month, so that I can start telling you about current projects by February! The first project I’ll tell you about is the deck! You may remember that our […]

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Happy New Year!!

January 1, 2014

Happy 2014! We hope your year is filled with faith, hope, and love.   *We made our card on cardstore.com, the same site we used last year!

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2014 Hopes and Dreams

December 31, 2013

Earlier today I told you how I did in 2013, and now I’m back to tell you what we’re both hoping for in 2014! Lindsey’s List: Get pregnant Read 20 books Have an unforgettable 30th birthday party Blog regularly (I’m not stating a specific timeline this year, because I always aim too high) Go fully […]

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2013 Resolutions Recap

December 31, 2013

Last year I wrote two separate posts about what I hoped for the New Year. One was full of wishes for the new year, not things I needed, but things I hoped would happen. The other was the things I was ready to change/work for! Here’s how I did: 20 Wishes: Take our big Europe […]

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On Our Eleventh and Twelfth Dates of Christmas

December 30, 2013

On our Eleventh Date of Christmas, we had a very special date night in the City! Right after work, we parked our car in the North Shore, and took a walk over the bridge to Point State Park. I was hoping to get some good photos of the Christmas Tree, but it was way too […]

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